She's Home!!

Many of you have from time to time read things I've written here about my Mom. Many of them have been humorous, but she's the one smiling now! She's in heaven with Jesus and I am so very happy for her.

When it happened, it happened fast. Just a week and a day ago I had a special time of crying out to Jesus that when it was His time to take my Mummy Home, would He just please do it quickly and not make it a long drawn-out process! In less than 2 days' time, she was gone--just like that, quickly and oh so peacefully.

I tried to live my time with her so that I would have no regrets, and for the most part, I didn't. I did feel sorry that I hadn't gone up to see her the day before she died, and I did wish that I had never been impatient with her, but aside from that, I knew that I had lovingly and faithfully laid down my life for her day after day, year after year for the past 4-5 years, and even before that. . .

I also felt sorry that no one was with Mama when she actually crossed over. K. Holscher had put her to bed and been on call the night before and had been in late in the evening to encourage her back to bed when she was up walking around. Mama was also rather wakeful a lot of the night, talking, etc. but she seemed to be okay so K. didn't spend a lot of time in there. Between 5 and 6 Tuesday morning she heard Mama call for help, so she went in and helped her get tucked back into bed, then returned to her room and turned up the monitor to be sure she could hear her if she called or needed anything again. She could hear Mama breathing, and then after awhile a big sigh. After that, all was quiet so after wondering what to do for a time, Katherine went back in to check and Mama was gone! Wow! Jesus called her and she went! She didn't really need me or anyone else and I think this is probably just the way He planned it. No struggle, no fear, no agitation. Just a big sigh...and Home!

It will take me awhile to re-program my thinking and readjust my schedule. I'm kind of exhausted right now, having just gone through all the prep for the funeral, the food, cleaning up. . . On top of that, one of my sisters and I already went through all of Mama's stuff and pretty much got it taken care of. Soooo, I can still use prayer.

Dreams--Where From?

I had the most unsettling dream last night. For some reason N and I decided that we would sleep in T and S's bed instead of our own! I had the niggling feeling that we really should ask permission before just doing this, but N didn't seem to feel it was necessary! My night in that bed was most restless. I was sure they looked in at one point and found us Goldilocks there. And the rest of the time, I kept thinking that I was going to have to apologize in the morning. It was awful.

And then, (often I'll wake up enough to realize it's but a dream), still in the middle of the dream, I realized to my great relief that the whole thing was a dream! I probably wouldn't have remembered a thing about it, except that when I came downstairs this morning, K began to recount an unsettling dream she'd had, and the whole thing came pouring back. Weird.

I really would never steal someone's bed without asking. . .

Of Pillows

We have pretty interesting dinner conversations at our house from time to time. We had some good ones with Kendra home, but the three of us left had a pretty interesting one a couple days ago. It was about pillows--you know, the kind you sleep on!! It went something like this:

Me to N.: Do you think your pillow is getting too squishy? Should I buy you a new one?

K. What kind of pillow does Daddy use anyway?

Me: A feather pillow.

N: I don't know. I hadn't thought about it. Are they on sale?

Me: No, but I have a 20% off coupon at Bed, Bath and Beyond and I just have to use it!

At this point, quite a bit of laughter on N and K's part.

N: We probably should be careful about that--using a coupon to save money to buy something we don't really need. (Would I ever do that?!!)

This was followed by a discussion on price and quality and how it's more important to get something of quality that will last rather than the cheapest item.

N: Isn't the pillow I'm using one of the ones your mother made us for our wedding?
(My mother made us a beautiful set of real feather down pillows as a wedding gift) Now it was mine and K's turn to laugh, which we did uproariously and N joined in.

Me: N! We've been married for 33 years and you haven't had that pillow for the past 20 or 25!

N: Oh. I thought it would be fun to do an advertising blurb on the outstanding quality and durability of your mother's handiwork!

Much laughter.

This was followed by further discussion on types of pillows--foam rubber eg. (which I use and which after about 5-8 years has compacted in size and might need to be replaced, so maybe I should use that coupon. Son C got my last cast off. Wonder if he would like this one???!)

End of discussion.

Whaaaaaaaaaa! Kendra's Gone.

I miss Kendra. And not just because of all the things she did for me! I miss her presence! She was home nearly a month--the longest stint since she left for Indy almost 9 years ago! So she was here long enough to integrate fully into the household again and that meant a chance to play games, watch movies, juggle on-line time, navigate around an ironing board (which I rarely use!!), and on and on. And now she's gone and we have to pick up the pieces and go on. Sigh.

New England Ice Storm

Okay, it's January 15th and we're finally getting a little taste of winter. Last night when I heard there was to be freezing rain this morning, I moved a few things in the garage so I could put our Subaru inside, but I told myself I'd do it "later." Well, "later" never happened and I forgot so this morning there was a very thick coat of ice plastered all over the car Smart me!

As I walked across our lawn on my way to Fairview this morning, I noticed that all the blades of green grass, because yes, believe it our not, our grass has remained green right through the winter, anyway all the blades of grass were encased in an icy sheath, making them stand upright like quills on a porcupine. Pretty fascinating sight and I thought to myself that the scene would make good photo fodder.

An hour later, the photographer presently living in our house (there are 2 others in the family not presently living here), headed out the door with a plastic bag encased camera looking for photo opts on this icy, dreary day. I suggested the ice encased blades of grass and I think she captured them, complete with our squishy pumpkin carefully dragged over to provide a brilliant, contrast of orange. Yea! When one photographer is absent, another takes over. Warmed my mother's heart.

Kendra commented on other ways this same family member photographer reminds her of another family member who is across the pond right now. When #1, #4 and #5 kids were trying to get out the door to leave for the Old Orchard Beach condo adventure, #1 and #4 were waiting in the car while #5 was still inside, running about doing all kinds of last minute things. And in her haste she forgot her_________ and had to return to retrieve them!!! Kendra's comment was that if #3 had been here, they'd have been waiting for him just like #5! He, he, he! Fortunately, #2 drove up in his own car and missed all that excitement...

Kendra is the Greatest!

Too bad everyone can't have a daughter like Kendra! She is awesome! This vacation that she's been home is the first one in several years that she hasn't been working on her MBA. Before she would be holed up in her room every spare minute working on courses, or at the computer working on courses.

But this time. . .this time when I turn around, she's sweeping the floor, or emptying the trash, or emptying the dishwasher, or folding clothes, or teachinig Kayla Wisdom booklets, or waxing my kitchen floor, or painting baseboards in our house that have never been painted in 14 years!! She pushed me out the door to get out of her way so she could do all these things and took over the culinary department in the kitchen in my absence. Wow! Thank you Kendra!!

Vacation Again--I'm Getting Spoiled!

Here I am "on vacation" again in less than two weeks' time! I'm getting spoiled rotten. It was part of Neil's strategy to have Kendra stay home extra time after Christmas to give me a bit of a much needed break from my regular responsibilities at home and at Fairview with my Mom. We went away for a few days over New Years' so I felt kind of guilty to leave again so soon, but I was rather pushed out the door by Kendra so I had to go!!

Monday I left for Gloucester and the home of Beryl and Wendell Peterson. Here I have come before and found great pleasure in relaxing, reading, playing Scrabble, stamping, ocean watching, etc. etc. Upon arrival, I let myself into the house, (Beryl was napping) unpacked, and made myself comfortable in the living room leather recliner, accompanied by my Palm pilot and trusty game favorites. Before long I fell asleep and awakened to a lighted Christmas tree, beautifully decorated and gently revolving in front of the picture window. Ah, what bliss. . .

This morning I slept late and my main entertainment has been that of making 60, you read it right--SIXTY cards out of a Simply Scrappin Kit sold in the Stampin Up catalog! I've always wanted to do this, so a few weeks ago had downloaded the directions for it from Splitcoaststampers.com, and then brought the kit, my paper cutter, adhesive, black stamp pad, paper snips, ribbon and greeting stamps with me so I could attempt it here. I attempted it and completed it! I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing--listened to middle son's Recital CD while doing it, and took a Dunkin Donuts trip break in the middle of it with Beryl. I'm sure this kind of day wouldn't float most people's boat(s), but it sure floated mine! Tonight I'm fat and happy. Fat because I haven't gotten back into my exercise routine and back onto my "no sweets" regimen.